T’was the GNO Before Thanksgiving…….

21 Nov

Girls Night Out! GNO!!! GNO!!!!!

T’ was the night before Thanksgiving
And all thru the house,
Jose Cuervo was waiting, that unfaithful louse,
Our make up was applied over wrinkle cream with care,
In hope that Captain Morgan soon would be there,

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With ne’er a clue of their mom’s plans ahead……
With momma is her high heels, she is taking no crap,
she s looking like a hottie and knows just where its at….

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I rose from the sofa….is my ass getting fatter?.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore my gel manicured pinkie nail and almost fell on my ass

The moon on the breast of my push up bra, ya know?
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, (insert perverted Bevis and Butthead laugh here)
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Honda Odyssey, and the friends I hold dear,
With our designated driver so lively and quick,
We all talked a good game about getting some dick (not)

More fun than a tupperware party , the moms they became
And whistled, and shouted, and when the bouncer knew them by name;

“Hey, Justina! Hey, Betsy! Hey, Sheila and Nancy!
Hey Carolyn, Hey Dolly, and Charlene, dont you girls look fancy?”

To the top of the bar, grab a stool so you dont fall
tequilla + heels = disaster y’all

DRINK UP MY BITCHES, HAPPY GNO TO ALL!

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3 Responses to “T’was the GNO Before Thanksgiving…….”

  1. Jaime November 21, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    LOVE IT!!! Christine is BACK!!!!

  2. Julia Grenier November 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    My cousin Lisa Is a huge fan of your blog! I was talking to my nurse today(she thinks she’s in charge of my health…why confuse the poor thing). I’ve recently been awakened to discover my body has definitely gone a muck….yuck! I now have more “old people” diseases than I ever thought I’d have at 58 years. young. My nurse, let’s call her Nurse Ratched, suggested I started a blog, outlining my “happy thoughts & positive perspectives” at seemingly conquering the “DIET” dilemas of my life ~ Note: DIET ist verboden. I now call it, “A Healthy Eating Plan = AHEP ~ translation: getting over the heap of crap thats out there from Jenny “who”, Weight Wankers, and TOPS (take off piles {of fat} stupid) just to name a few of the BIG BAD BODY SNATCHERS trying to fit a ONE SIZE FITS ALL “diet” plan for all FAT PEOPLE!!! Anyways, I loved reading all the crazy things you talk about. You definitely have a wackadoodle, ft’d up sense of humor, but I see the genius behind the mask. Kudos to you girlfiend!!! Congrats on surviving a year in the blog-o-sphere! I pray, I mean get down on my achy, fatty knees, and pray I figure out how to impart my many years of unsuccessful turning of the tummy troubles into a “as successul” blog such as yours. Any advice I would welcome, Continued success to you girl!!!

  3. Julia Grenier November 29, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    My cousin Lisa Is a huge fan of your blog! I was talking to my nurse today(she thinks she’s in charge of my health…why confuse the poor thing). I’ve recently been awakened to discover my body has definitely gone a muck….yuck! I now have more “old people” diseases than I ever thought I’d have at 58 years. young. My nurse, let’s call her Nurse Ratched, suggested I started a blog, outlining my “happy thoughts & positive perspectives” at seemingly conquering the “DIET” dilemas of my life ~ Note: DIET ist verboden. I now call it, “A Healthy Eating Plan = AHEP ~ translation: getting over the heap of crap thats out there from Jenny “who”, Weight Wankers, and TOPS (take off piles {of fat} stupid) just to name a few of the BIG BAD BODY SNATCHERS trying to fit a ONE SIZE FITS ALL “diet” plan for all FAT PEOPLE!!! Anyways, I loved reading all the crazy things you talk about. You definitely have a wackadoodle, ft’d up sense of humor, but I see the genius behind the mask. Kudos to you girlfiend!!! Congrats on surviving a year in the blog-o-sphere! I pray, I mean get down on my achy, fatty knees, and pray I figure out how to impart my many years of unsuccessful turning of the tummy troubles into a “as successful” blog such as yours. Any advice I would welcome, Continued success to you girl!!!

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